July 12, 2020

The Tonight Show: At Home Edition (Thank You Notes)

-[ Heavy sigh ]Hi, everyone.

It's Jimmy Fallon.

Welcome to another edition of “The Tonight ShowAt Home Edition.

” Today is Friday and I know every day kind offeels the same, a little bit, but, today kind of feelslike a Friday again.

First time in a long time, I think, you know? And it's been a week.

It's been, you know, a lot of time, but, I have no planfor the weekend.

Normally, I'm.



pumpin' it up.

“Let's go to the beach.

Let's go to the play.

We'll do something, then we'll have a play date! We'll do this;we'll dah dah.

” Nothing.

I got nothing for the kids.

So the kids have thatto look forward to — absolutely [ Laughing ]nothing this weekend.

We're staying at homelike we're supposed to do and it's kind of fun, in a weird way.

It's freeing.

I'm actually, uh, happy to be here, lucky to be here and safe and.



that's what I'm gonna do.

And I'm gonna try not to, you know, overthink everything and takeevery day one day at a time.

I thank you allfor watching.

I thank NBC for airing this.

YouTube, for airing iton YouTube as well, for the people that don'thave cable or a TV.

They can watch our shows.

Thank you for donating.

State Farm.

Our good neighborsat State Farm.

Where is that? There it is.

Winnie wrote this out.

Kind of rushed it today, I feel.

-[ Laughing ] -Redcross.


State Farm said they'd match up to $200, 000 this weekin donations.

That's $400, 000.

We're very closeto reaching $200, 000, I'm very happy to say.

[ Clapping] I love you guys.

That's awesome.

So, that means $400, 000have been donated to Red Cross, thanks to you guys.

They matched –They matched your donation.

Thank you to our neighborsat State Farm and our friends at Red Crossare so, so thankful and happy.

We talked to them todayand they wanted to let everyone know to pleasegive blood, if you can.

I'm not hearing Winnie.

-Why are you doing that? -I thought that was Gary.

I was like, “Wait.

Gary can open the door?” -No.

-[ Laughs ] -Who is that?-I want inclusion! -Oh, my gosh! Guys, I thoughtyou were already upstairs.


Nice to see ya.




Give it to me.


Hi, guys.


-Anyways, if you can — I'll close the door.

Don't worry.

-[ Laughing ] [ Running footsteps ] -Hey.

-[ Laughing ] -I was try– Sure.

[ Piano playing ] -She got the note about.



[ Laughs ] -[ Heavy sigh ]-.



putting her coat on.

-[ Laughing ] It wasso quiet for a second.

It was so quiet for a second.

[ Sigh ] Anyways, if you can give blood, please give blood.

They need blood donations, please.

And my guest tonight, Miley Cyrus, [ Clap ] the coolest kid in school, has been doing a show on Instagram Live for the pastthree weeks, a talk show.

So she now knows what it's liketo be a talk show host and so, I wanna talkto her about that.

Also her foundation ishappyhippies.


Oh, Winnie, come on.

This is —[ Laughs ] -I mean, come on.

Anyways, that's supposedto say happyhippies.


They're doing amazing stufffor homeless youth, but they're switching up theirinitiative for this pandemic.

You'll see what she has to say.

She's great.

Also, we haveRachel Brosnahan, who, covenanthouse.

orgis her charity.

Please give to that.

We're talking to Rachel, “The Marvelous Mrs.


” And then, we have musicfrom Lewis Capaldi! [ Clapping ] My man! [ Scat singing ] I love that song so much.

♪ I need somebody to heal ♪ ♪ Somebody to love ♪ [ Mumbling lyrics ] ♪ Now the day bleeds ♪ ♪ Into nightfall ♪ Thank you, Frannie.

Anyways, he's on the show tonight, performing a songfrom that album.

I love Lewis Capaldi.

Guys, let's start the show.

It's Friday, “Tonight Show.

” Let's do a mono, monologue, right now.

♪♪ Alright, welcome to “The Tonight ShowAt Home Edition.

” Well, guys, it is Friday, so, congrats on getting throughanother workweek on Zoom without your boss noticingyou're drunk or stoned.

Listen to this — There'sa petition gaining momentum to name Dr.

Fauci People magazine'sSexiest Man Alive.

You know these are crazy times when the Sexiest Man Alive voteis gonna come down to Dr.

Fauci and Joe Exotic.

♪♪ If Dr.

Fauci doesn't win, he should at least getPeople magazine's Sexiest Man Tryingto Keep You Alive.

♪♪ That's good.

CNN's Chris Cuomo said he's lost 13 pounds in 3 daysdue to coronavirus.

So, it's official — I definitely don't havecoronavirus.

♪♪ My man boobs looking weird-[ Laughing ] -in this light? I'll just do this like this.

I saw that more than 12, 000people just applied to be a NASA astronaut.


Everyone spent two weekswith their family and thought, “I gotta get out to space.

” ♪♪ Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber is now streaming Broadwayshows online for free.

My wife will probablyenjoy that more than me singing “Phantom” songs with a surgical maskcovering half my face.

♪ Slowly ♪ [ Singing indistinctly ] ♪ I am in a sewer ♪ ♪ Trying to find love ♪ Never saw “Phantom.

” I can only assumethat's what it was, right? He live in a sewer?-[ Laughs ] -He has a mask or something.

♪♪ I get it.

People love — The heart wantswhat the heart wants, you know? ♪♪ I saw Tom Bradyis moving his family into Derek Jeter'smansion in Tampa.

Though it's nota done deal, yet.

First, Jeter smartly wantsto run a credit check on Brady [ Laughter ] and get firstand last month's rent up-front.

Very smart.

You never know, man.

[ Laughs ] Dwayne Johnson posteda video on Instagram about washing your hands, where he's shirtless, in just a towel, and rapping a song from “Moana.

” Yeah.

When Dwaynedoes that, it's fun, but when I do that, it's “Dad, you're ruininghomeschool.

” ♪♪ And, finally, according to scientists, mice can actually make facialexpressions based on their mood.

Americans heard thatand were like, “That's great.

Any word on the curefor coronavirus?” ♪♪ Mice can — That's our monologuefor tonight.

Hey, I think it's timefor “Thank You Notes”! Girls, get down here! Help out Daddy! [ Funk sting plays ] -Hey, guys.

Today's Friday and, even though we're quarantined, it's still a day where I check my inbox;return some emails; and, of course, I send outthank-you notes.

[ Laughing ]Well, I was wondering if I could write out my weeklythank-you notes right now.

[ Laughter ] Frannie, can I get somethank-you note writing music, please? [ Tender theme plays ] That's good; that's good.

That's good.

Thank you, wearing a hat, for being the newtaking a shower.

[ Whispering ] Go.

Good job.

Thank you, home gyms, for making me realizethat every time I said, “If I only had more free time, “I was just lying to myself.

♪♪ ♪♪ Thank you, making homemade pizza.

Yes, it takes much longerthan delivery and involves way more effort, but, in the end, it tastes terrible.

♪♪ -Are you ready?-Mm-hmm.

Winnie, perfect.

♪♪ -Thank you, tracking a package, for beingthe closest thing I have to watching sports right now.


Oh, it's in Iowa! The package made itto Iowa, guys!” Okay.

♪♪ Thank you, the phrase”How you holdin' up?” for being the polite wayof asking someone, “So, are you alsoon the brink of insanity?” -[ Chuckle ]-[ Chuckle ] -Hm?-Yeah.

That's perfect.

Don't touch.

Thank you, KFC, for giving away a millionpieces of fried chicken.

Just maybe don't tell peopleit's Finger Lickin' Good.

It's Rubber Glovin'Finger Licking Good.

♪♪ Thank you, weather app, for reminding methat there's weather.

♪♪ Alright.


Last one.

Thank you, yoga classes over Zoom, for occasionally becoming just 16 close-ups of butts.

♪♪ What do you thinkof those jokes? That or this one? [ Booing ] -[ Laughing ]-Guys, we'll be right back with more “Tonight Show.

“We have [ Laughing ] Miley Cyrus on the showand we have Rachel Brosnahan.

-I didn't see this one.

-And Lewis Capaldi.

Thank you, Winnie.

You didn't see that one? It's funny.

Good job, Winnie.

Good job, Frannie.

We'll be right back, everybody.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *